


Love is Overrated

by MlTSUBA



Category: Suicide Boy - ParkGee (Webcomic)
Genre: Best Friends, Denial/Acceptance, Depression, Gen, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Like the chapter when Soorim and Hooni r like 20, M/M, Past Self-Harm Mention, Platonic Love, Platonic love is important too, READ THE AUTHORS NOTE, Rejection, Soorim is such a good friend, This takes place in the future, Unrequited Love, really - Freeform, they live together, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26440687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MlTSUBA/pseuds/MlTSUBA
Summary: Despite the broken heart, he can still feel it beating inside his chest- Something that would’ve stopped a long time ago if it weren’t for the boy by his side. It hurts, but as with all things, he will learn how to cope. He will heal. That’s just how life is.:: In which 21 yr old Hooni gets rejected by Soorim... But maybe it’s not so bad after all.
Relationships: ? Apparently people call it that too ?, HooRim, Jung Soorim & Lee Hooni, SooHoon, SooHooni
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Love is Overrated

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone this is a personal vent please be nice lol

It’s tough luck. That’s what Hooni thinks. He can’t catch a break, he just wants someone to care about him and make him happy. To reciprocate his feelings. It’s not too much to ask for, yet the universe sure does make him feel like he’s praying for a miracle. 

Hooni’s ripped into shreds. His heart aches and he can’t stop crying and feeling sick and empty again. It’s been a while since he felt this torn up, huh? He’s hyperaware of where his old bandages used to be on his legs and arms, nursing his self-made wounds back to health with bitter butterfly kisses. He feels weak for not being able to take such a hit, but he supposes it makes sense. It’s not like he’s ever dealt with something like this before. Sure, he’s had his fair share of crushes and admirations, but never before had he genuinely felt so intensely about someone so close and important before. 

It made sense when Hooni had finally caught onto it. A normal day in bed when his mind just clicked and went “Huh. I like my best friend.” Cue the instant internal panic. He doesn’t want to fuck up one of the two only genuine friendships he’s ever had, especially not with someone who cares so much about him and makes him feel happy and safe and cared about. But life isn’t fair and feelings don’t work the way we wish they did, Hooni is well aware of that by now. It takes years for him to say anything, days and nights spent crying and anxious that at some point he was going to have to come clean and confront it because it’s stubbornness to stay was not something he could avoid or force away at this point. 

And he does. He confronts it one late night in early fall. 

It takes him a couple days to recover from the first try- Which Soorim was too dense- _as usual-_ to understand what he was trying to say. Hooni got too anxious to clarify and ran away from the conversation to isolate himself.

Hooni gives in a couple days later and the two have a very long, much-needed discussion about their relationship... And it fucking sucks. 

It’s so hard to get space from someone you’ve become so accustomed to having be part of your everyday life.  
Hooni sleeps in the guest room all day, ignoring the party in the living room. He doesn’t have the energy to deal with people or parties or food for that matter. He doesn’t want to tidy himself up just to get food so instead he sleeps in his room, his and Soorim’s pet cat curled up at the end of the bed, snuggling his feet to let him know he’s got support if he needs it. 

Hooni buries himself in his phone again. He seeks comfort online from a couple Internet mutuals... A _fancy term for familiar strangers who he carefully speaks to occasionally_. A coping mechanism from a very long time ago. From a very low point in his life. It makes him feel strange. Like maybe things are reverting back to how they used to be. The thought alone brings along more pent up anxiety over the future that he wishes he could store away and address some other day. So he ignores it and copes the only way his body knows how.  
It’s natural instinct to claw at his skin in frustration, his arms and legs tingly in a persuasive manner. It’s almost like it’s whispering convincing words to him, trying to seduce him into kissing the blade yet again. It’s been a while, though, and he felt proud of himself for it. How could he ever relapse and not feel guilty? 

Hooni relapses. He’s disappointed in himself, but he’s too tired to really be all too disappointed. He crawls back in bed and wraps himself up in the fuzzy blankets.

He feels like shit and he can’t stop sobbing. He tires himself out, so he sleeps. He wakes up to a warm cat at his feet again. That’s the cycle he lives for the next couple hours of the day until he finally sits up to see the sun gone. He can tell the party’s dying and he regrets not treating himself to dessert earlier— He just didn’t have the energy or appetite at the time.  
After a very convincing bunch of Internet mutuals persuade and encourage him to cheer himself up, he gives in and reluctantly slips out of the guest room and scurries into the kitchen to grab a slice of cake. A sheer moment of panic courses through his veins when he overhears guests talking about him, but he tries his best to ignore it and rushes back to the empty room as soon as he can. 

The cake _does_ cheer him up a bit, but his distractions start to dwindle and he’s not sure what else he can do to give himself space between him and his only friends- A painful reminder of the fact he’s forever alone, suffering from a case of constant unrequitedness and a poor mindset (that said unrequitedness only seems to enforce). He considers sleeping again, but he might lose more hours of night sleep he needs for tomorrow. 

In the end, Soorim reaches out, because that’s just the kind of person he is. Hooni responds, because he can’t _not_ answer to his best friend, even when he’s completely and entirely heartbroken and crushed. 

It’s very late at night- Four in the morning, to be exact, when Hooni and Soorim are sitting on the couch eating leftover birthday party cake. They’re laughing and talking and it feels almost like Soorim’s unspokenly vowed his support and comfort to Hooni despite everything they’ve been through. Despite knowing how overwhelming he can be. Despite knowing the situation. Maybe it’s because he _has._

Hooni looks to his right, to a blonde boy who entered his life unexpectedly about 5 years ago. It sounds like just yesterday, but it feels like it’s been lifetimes since. So many days spent by each other’s side, supporting each other and comforting one another. Cheering the other on and being there for each other the way best friends are supposed to. He’s never had something like this before. He’s never met someone like Soorim before... Unmoving, dedicated, loyal, honest, open to communication. And while his heart swells and races ten times faster, and his face flushes and he trips over his words, he feels more comfortable and more happy with him than anybody else in the entire world.  
Nobody knows him better than his own best friend. Nobody could ever be a better best friend than the one sitting beside him. And despite the broken heart, he can still feel it beating inside his chest- Something that would’ve stopped a long time ago if it weren’t for the boy by his side. It hurts, but as with all things, he will learn how to cope. He will heal. That’s just how life is. But because of his friends endless reassurance and support, he’s learned that it’s okay to be sensitive. It’s okay to be vulnerable and emotional. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes, and it’s okay to let yourself express that. Hooni’s learned a lot the past five years that he didn’t think he ever would’ve thought about back when he was seventeen and struggling. 

Life is rough, but with the right people, maybe things can feel a little more bearable. 

Hooni is very aware of the ache in his chest and the heaviness under his eyes, don’t get him wrong, but he thinks it’s not so hard to deal with when he knows he’s got people who will help him out now, just like they have before and will continue to. Maybe that’s all he really needs right now. Because nothings _changing,_ not his friendship with Soorim, not his personal life problems, not work— none of that. And things definitely aren’t as bad as they used to be, now. He’s been working on learning healthier ways to handle and cope with his problems. He’s been through it all before, who says he can’t handle it again? He’s got access to so much more now than he ever has before in his life. He’s got friends, he’s learned healthier coping skills, he’s learned from the past. 

Soorim hands him the tv remote. Hooni turns on yet another shitty movie for them to make fun of. Soorim hands him the freshly made bowl of popcorn. They settle into their seats and laugh at the shitty introduction music together in the dark. Hooni checks the time and sees his phone background, an old picture of them from when they first met. 

Yeah, Hooni thinks he’ll be alright. He’s done this before and he’s still alive. He’ll survive. He knows it. 

And besides, Love is overrated, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> So anyway bf/gf/so applications open :flushed: :pog:


End file.
